To be desperate for days, weeks, months, years, and decades. To be desperate to the limits of endurance, at the same time not committing, or even contemplating, suicide, it’s the bravest thing in the World.
To be a vulture must be tremendously painful, but, you have to make a living. Also, some people have natural predispositions for it. In any case, it is better to be a vulture than a carrion.
To be a secret society member is very seductive. It’s the same as having a mistress, or secret account in Switzerland. When your secrets get discovered, it’s similar to having diarrhea and realizing that too late.
He was very sad while he was missing his golden chance. Later he realized that it wasn’t a golden chance, maybe only third-rate bronze. I was always impressed by people’s ability to convince themselves into anything they’d like.
